I love my children.
They each have taken their own path and their childhood has gone so quickly. (Sometimes I can’t help but think … they use to be inside Patty’s stomach!).
How to make the best of it, and the best of them, is something to think about.
In the Family and Friends Intertwined Area of Movement, there are concepts of communication and roles.
In the role of a parent, communication with children has its UPS and DOWNS. (As it does in the role of children with their parents.)
When communication is UP it’s an adventure, it’s educational, inspiring, and enjoyable in way’s like nothing else. Seeing the curiosity, growth and new perspectives is enlightening, renewing and rewarding. Participation and communication flow.
When communication is DOWN, as it is from time to time (especially in the teenage years), it’s harder. As a parent you can’t help but worry about the hard lessons and challenges children go through. (And think back on the difficulty of learning the lessons yourself).
You think you know what they need, but they have to find out themselves. Communication can be challenging.
What can you communicate in the DOWN periods (even through a closed door)?
- Tell them you love them
- Tell them it will be better tomorrow
- Tell them to do the best they can
- Tell them you’re available to talk when they want to
Those four things help a parent help a kid prepare for life. I believe it’s what children what to here, said in no particular order, or at no particular time in the communication.
Sometimes, in times of stress and tiredness, it’s hard to remember them. But they’re always available to improve communication and a child’s life.
I love my children – one step at a time.
Have funwithyourchildren,
Jim
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Tags: children, family & friends, Intertwined Areas of Movement, life skills, words
Whatever you did, up or down, it produced superb children and a tight family bound with love forever.
Hi Rama, Good friend and smart person. You bring up a great point. Parenting is done by more than the biological parents. Our children are lucky to have “parents” like you to help them along, and do the kind of things I’m reflecting on here. Thank you for your comment and your parenting… Have Fun, Jim
I like the times when they now come to me, as “adults”, about some choice they are having to make. I listen and discuss and then tell them that we’ve raised them to know right from wrong and have shared with them the impact choices can have on ones life, and that we now trust them to use that knowledge to make the right decision. They need to hear that.
Both of our children have chosen extremely different paths – perhaps not the paths we would have chosen for them – however, they are both good, honest, loving, caring and moral people and we love them and are proud of them. And they need to hear that.
Hi Kelly, Thank you for your comment. You are so right, bestowing your trust and pride on your children is a great gift. I’ve found, I think like you, that it raises the discussion to levels of honesty, loving, caring, plus … Thanks for adding your insight to Tossly for others to share. Have Fun, Jim